一、避免使用语意弱的“be”动词。
Weak: The trees are bare. The grass is brown. The landscape
seems drab. Revision:The brown grass and bare trees form a drab landscape. (转换为前置定语)
1)
Weak: The team members are good players.
3、在以“here”或“there”开头的句子中,把“be”动词后的名词代词变成改写句的主语。例如:
五、杜绝滥用陈旧词语或难懂的专业术语。例如:
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1、把句中的表语转换为不同的修饰语。例如:
2、将作表语用的形容词或名词变为行为动词。例如:
Revision: The team members play well.
1) Weak: There is no opportunity for
promotion.
Revision: No opportunity for promotion exists.
二、多用语意具体的动词,保持句意简洁明了。例如:
1、Poor: My supervisor went
past my desk.
Better: My supervisor sauntered (=walked slowly) past
my desk.
2、Poor: She is a careful
shopper.
Better: She compares prices and quality.
三、尽量运用主动语态。例如:
1、Weak: The organization has
been supported by charity.
Better: Charity has supported the organization.
2、Weak: The biscuits were
stacked on a plate.
Better: Mother stacked the biscuits on a plate.
四、防止使用语意冗长累赘的词语。例如:
1、Wordy: My little sister has
a preference for chocolate milk.
Improved: My little sister prefers chocolate milk.
2、Wordy: We are in receipt of
your letter and intend to follow your recommendations.
Improved: We have received your letter and intended
to follow your recommendation.
3、Redundant: We had a serious
crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.
Improved: We had a crisis at school yesterday when
our chemistry laboratory caught fire.
4、Redundant: My sister and I bought
the same, identical dress in different stores.
Improved: My sister and I bought the same dress in
different stores.
1、Weak: They will not agree
to his proposals in any shape or form.
Improved: They will not agree to any of his
proposals.
2、Weak: I need her financial
input before I can guesstimate our expenditures next fall.